NSFW Facts You Should Probably Read Alone

President Johnson was once asked why the US was in Vietnam. He pulled out his dick, waved it at the reporter and said, “This is why.”

That’s right, they can use their dicks to pick stuff up. Not only that, they use them to prop themselves up to reach leaves.

I’m sure we’ve covered before how horny these primates can be, but you were probably unaware that they’re diddling their bits with wooden dicks.

Yeah, that’s all I got for this. I’m daydreaming.

They also have two uteruses. This means they can stay perpetually pregnant, or it’s perpetually that time of the month.

The surgery takes about 20 minutes. By those numbers, about 500 dudes are getting the snip right now…

Allegedly, Benjamin Franklin was totally into older women and even famously wrote a letter titled, “Advice to a friend on choosing a mistress” in which he praised their abilities. He probably plagiarized it from Tesla…

Scientists have found that dolphins and humans are the only two creatures that, if given a mirror, will eventually use it to peep their own junk.

While in estrus, mares will mate with every male in their area. This way the stallions don’t know who the father is and won’t try to kill the foal to get more horsey-style.

Scientists can determine if a woman has had an orgasm lately just by observing how she walks. And now you’re all headed to google to be “scientists” too.

Scientists realized this by ripping their members off. I’m sure there is a very good scientific reason for why their penises grow back, but mostly I want to know why they were ripping them off in the first place.

In most men, the left testicle hangs a little lower than the right. If the right hangs lower, that means he’s probably a lefty.

Some (lucky?) women have orgasms during birth. It’s apparently incredibly rare, but what a world we live in!

… and reportedly died while giving it to his art teacher.

You know, if you’re into that freaky shit, and you’re also analytical as fuck, this might come in handy. Plan ahead.

If you set up and scan your member like you would your finger, you can legit use it to unlock your iPhone.

Somewhere out there one of you little freaks is definitely touching the inside of his mouth.

Maybe that’s why beer is so irresistible to most men?

Whale’s penises are called dorks.

Like all snowflakes are unique and we all have a different fingerprint, your sphincter also has its own distinct pattern.